The Sky is a Funny Shade of Orange

Dear bug,

I have been thinking about so much lately and hoping you are safe. A few nights ago, Mutti had a bad dream. I didn’t want to write about it, because I want my letters to you to be only full of good things. But sometimes nightmares do happen. In Mutti’s dream she was running and running to try and find you, but she kept getting lost. You were calling and calling. *shiver* It was a scary dream.

Sometimes it feels like we are so far apart, we might never find our way to each other. Feeling discouraged when something is taking a super long time is normal though. Your Mutti is a regular person like everyone else. I want MY WAY! Right now I really really really REALLY want to meet you.

Guess what? Lately we’ve had lightning and thunderstorms! They are unusual for us here in Oregon. Mama loves them because they remind her of Kentucky.

Last night we sat in the living room and watched the sky turn a funny shade of not-quite-orange.

pdx photo by http://www.flickr.com/people/mathowie/

Outside the lightning flashed and the thunder boomed.

Mama laughed. Mutti jumped. Paw ran and hid where it was safe. Mama held Mutti’s hand for a while. When the thunder stopped, Paw came out and mommies snuggled.

When the world outside is scary, when nightmares come, when we feel discouraged, it is so good to have someone to snuggle with.

I don’t know WHY is taking so long for us to find each other, but I am right here, waiting.

I promise you comfort after nightmares, cuddles during storms, and cheering up when you feel discouraged.

Love always and always and always,
Mutti

Climbing Trees

Dear bug,

Lately it feels like you are almost on your way to us. It is springtime and the big dogwood tree in our front yard is almost done blooming.

Our Dogwood Tree

Cool grass on Mutti's toes

The grass underneath the tree is cool on my bare feet. I hope you’ll like it. I think we are going to have picnics under that tree. It has a nice low branch that is just perfect for climbing.

When I was a little girl there was a magnolia tree in my front yard that I loved to climb. I’ll see if I can get Oma to send us a picture.

I can’t wait for you to meet everyone. The world is such a big big place! It might seem a little overwhelming at first, but don’t worry, I’ve got you by the hand. We will be just fine.

Love always,
Mutti

Supermoon

Dear squeak,

Tonight is another night that your Mutti is not sleeping. She is up thinking about you.

There is a supermoon tonight.

It reminds me of a poem. This poem was written by Izumi Shikibu, a Japanese woman who lived a long, long time ago.

Although the wind
blows terribly here,
the moonlight also leaks
between the roof planks
of this ruined house.

It is a melancholy kind of poem that makes a sad heart feel better. I wonder if you’ll know what I mean, if I will be able to share poetry with you. Poetry is so big.

But love is bigger. The love I feel when I think of you is so big my heart can’t contain it. I have to love you with my belly and my arms and my toes and my fingertips and my nose just to keep it all in. I’m wriggling my nose at you right now, cuddlebug.

I hope you sleep well tonight. See you soon.

Your-not-quite-almost-there-but-always-loving,
Mutti